Tuesday, 3 April 2007

How the hell do I think I can ever do an OU degree when I can't even make myself sit down and finish an application form for a job I really, really want?

I'm driving myself crazy, I really am. I come up with all these great plans, strokes of sodding genius. I get all excited, I tell people about them, and then they come to nothing. Either because I can't seem to interview well for toffee, or because even when I do interview well I don't get the job offers, or because I don't have the mental strength to make myself follow these things through. I'm so pathetically scared of failure that I won't even let myself try. Because then I retain some modicum of control over the whole process, even if that's only to mean that it's my own choice that I fail. Rather than someone else's choice.

And then people ask 'did anything ever come of that?' and I hang my head as I say no.

Seriously, I'd skip this post if I was you. There are exciting posts about football!! and scenery!! and running!! and all sorts below. They're far better.


loria said...

we all have days like this. i know, i have them all of the time. sometimes i wonder if the good days are the anomoly.

*hugs* from across the pond :)

b said...

Thanks for the hugs sweetie. I'm feeling better this morning. I have to remember to do it bit by bit, eh?