Saturday, 10 November 2007

motivation, or the lack of it.

It just seems at the minute that things are piling up, both literally and figuratively, and I don't know how to do anything about it.

I miss posting here. I write posts in my head, but I can't be bothered to type them up. I'm driven insane by the piles of stuff lying everywhere, but they are so big I don't know where to start tackling them. I enjoy writing my NaNo, but I can't be bothered to sit down and do it. I am enjoying my course, and yet I've inexplicably stopped.

I can't be bothered to make the tasty, healthy food I normally make. I haven't run in ages. Work is mixed; half the week was good and half bad, with no real inbetween. I got a text message on Thursday that seemed to be asking if I wanted to meet up with some friends on the way home from work; I did, but it turned out they were asking if I wanted to go later. I could justify popping in on the way home, but didn't want to go out again later (too dark too cold too much time).

I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I did, because right now I want to ask for help, but I have no idea what kind of help.

I don't know why I'm posting this here, but I think I just need to get it off my chest. This post may self destruct by the end of the weekend.


Imperatrix said...

Sounds like you'rre feeling a bit overwhelmed. NaNo is a big commitment, as is taking a class, all while working. You also mentioned a little while ago that you don't like winter dark. Perhaps a bit of SAD added on top?

Don't worry about the posting; I often have *wonderful* ideas, entire posts written in my head. But they never see the light of pixels.

Get a little sun every day, let the bad stuff at work slide off you, and read something funny every day. May I suggest (the woman behind the term "being dooced" [losing your job because of your blogging]). She's a bit frank, a little bit crude. But she often gets me laughing (read her archives, they are a hoot).

pierre l said...

Oh, my poor B. Much as we, your loyal readers, like reading you enjoy reading, you are not obliged to write, and don't need to apologise if you don't (what a terrible sentence...) It is always nice to read you though, and I hope you will continue.

b said...

Thank you both. Feeling much much better this morning; last night I cleared one of the piles of *stuff* that's been driving me mad. Now there is only one (slightly bigger) pile to deal with, but less stuff in total. The lounge is now tidier, it's sunny outside so I feel a little better, and I'm off out soon.

Thanks for the recs imperatrix; I think they will help. I'm off out to this class soon; will let you know how it goes (it's a girl thing pierre, sorry..!)

pierre, if i just didn't want to write that would make it so much easier. it's the fact that i do that makes it a stress, and i enjoy it when i do. will prob have some time later though. *crosses fingers hopefully*

John said...

We all have these little blue spells and I have destroyed about 3 of my blogs in the oast because of bad spells mixed with writers block.

What I have only just realised though is that it is worth persevering and people always remain loyal to reading what you have to say.

From your comment it looks like things have began to cheer up for you already, so stick with it and I am sure everythign will be back to normal in no time.

And thanks for your comment on ym blog :) You're welcome.

b said...

Thanks for popping by again John :) Feeling better, but still not myself. I have so much to do it's ridiculous and not a huge amount of time to do it in. But things are much better than they were yesterday.

loria said...

oh B, i *completely* relate to this. sometimes it just takes tackling one small thing a day... and that's it because that's all you'll be able to do and do well. we extend ourselves so much regularly that it's normal to need sometime to just stop.


b said...

aw loria. you are fab. thank you darling.