I feel bad for being in the internet right now. For being able to blog and post photos and write, generally. Even when half of what I'm writing is about my miscarriage. About how crap it all is.
This really helped. There is no normal. There is no 'you should be feeling this'. 'You should be acting like this.' No one has said that I shouldn't be doing this. But I'm good at feeling that I'm doing something wrong.
I'm coping with this as best I can. And it really, really sucks. One of my friends said to me something along the lines of that I have to go through this - I can't just wake up and I'm all better. It's a process. A grieving process for someone I've never met. A grieving process for the person I wanted to be.
Talking online is part of that. For better or worse, it just is. It's part of who I am, what I do. I blog. I talk to friends via facebook, via email. Some days I meet friends for coffee and talk, and cry. Some days I write in my journal, and cry.
Some days I blog, and cry.
I can't explain it. But it helps.