Thursday, 28 January 2010

the end of this post talks about people blogging pics of positive pregnancy tests. how it bugged the writer, birni. she was wondering whether it got to anyone else.

it doesn't get to me, not like birni means.

but what does upset me is that i didn't take a photo.

i didn't think i'd need a photo.

i thought that a baby would be proof enough of a positive pregnancy test.

guess i was a little naive.

5 comments:

Helen said...

Hey B. Just thought I'd let you know I have been reading your posts and I'm still thinking of you. xx

B said...

Thanks Helen x

biojen said...

I'm sorry B - its so tough not having physical things to hold on to.

Imperatrix said...

But think about this: Does that mean that my mother's 4 miscarriages are somehow less real than a modern-day one, with its pregnancy test strips and its digital cameras?

Miscarriage is difficult. No one needs manufactured reasons to justify their loss. It's OK to be sad, for the simple reasons.

(I'll shut up now.)

B said...

thanks jen x

PI - it IS different these days. not more or less valid, just different. it's accepted, i think, that grieving is much more difficult when you don't have a body. with my miscarriage, there was a body - not one i got to see, not properly, but it was cremated in a ceremony we went to. i have scan pictures and sympathy cards.

it's quite possible that your mother had none of those things. that she had to grieve in the absence of any concrete evidence her pregnancy existed. it's quite possible that it was far more difficult for her to come to terms with four (FOUR!!!) miscarriages than it is for me.

it's just something that i wish i had and i don't have. no more or less valid because of that. just different.

i miss the baby so much today.