Tuesday, 12 January 2010

if your friend or relative has a miscarriage or loses a baby.

i want to put these on facebook, but... the people who they are aimed at will probably think it's aimed at them.

or not. i don't know which would be worse.

anyway. if you know anyone who loses a baby, these might help:

miscarriage association leaflet for friends and relatives

advice from the website glow in the woods for how to help someone who has lost a baby


Maddie said...

I went ahead and put something like that on facebook. But those you need to read it probably won't. Those who did read it, told me the things in were so obvious and surely no one would say those things. I had to say that unfortunately people do say those things.

Now it's been just over two months (still feels like yesterday to me) I'm getting emails from friends that just say. 'How are you?' and then launch into their news. I feel like posting 'Two months is not long when you've lost a baby. I'm never going back to the person I was and to get anywhere near 'normal' is going to take me many more months and maybe years'

It's hard enough with having to deal with other people who just don't get it.

B said...

the counsellor i saw earlier in the week said she strongly believes that these babies go to a better place. interestingly, she said that wasn't a religious thought.

i'm not religious, so it wasn't a comfort at all. but honestly, i think even if you are religious and do believe your baby has gone to a better place, that won't be a comfort to you. because all you want is your baby back.

there IS no going back to normal after this. we have to find a new version of normal. one of my friends said yesterday that after such trauma, you can't be the same person you were before. (not someone who's lost a baby either, but someone who's gone through major trauma in the past year. i'm so glad she understands.) and she's right. i've been fighting it, but she's right. i need to find out who i am now.

i think i will post those on facebook today. it's not quite so obvious that it follows on from yesterday's announcement with a bit of space in between :(

Kat @ www.TodaysCliche.com said...

I can't even imagine. Thinking of you! I'll be checking back often!