Saturday, 23 January 2010

music to ease my soul

The music i would expect to bring me through a time like this hasn't been the music that has helped.

Tori Amos famously released her album From the Choirgirl Hotel after suffering a series of miscarriages. So I got out the album and started listening.

And yet somehow, it didn't do what I needed it to. Don't get me wrong, it occasionally made me cry. But mostly it was the songs I didn't expect. The ones I hadn't seen as connected to the miscarriage before. Cruel. Liquid Diamonds. iieee. Suddenly I got them. But Spark and Playboy Mommy - the songs most obviously connected - they weren't what I needed.

The first song to really make me sob was Florence and the Machine's cover of You Got the Love.

(Unfortunately, I was driving at the time. That could have ended badly.)

Since then, I've listened to the Florence and the Machine album a lot. And this song - Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up) really speaks to me. (If you haven't heard it before, please do click through and let me know what you think.) I don't believe it's actually written about miscarriage, but god. The words.

I have been listening to Tori too. Scarlet's Walk, for some reason. I've never really listened to that album before. But somehow it speaks to my loss.

I've been listening to PJ Harvey too, and rueing the fact that my copy of Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea is currently inaccessible.

Does anyone have anything or anyone else to suggest? I'm hungry for new music right now, particularly female singers. I do like Ani DiFranco, although I only have a couple of albums (Not a Pretty Girl and Puddle Dive) and I'm also thinking that I might dig out Bleed Like Me by Garbage.

(this was partly inspired by caz's post here. The post on glow in the woods that linked Lhasa de Sela also had a lot to do with it.)


biojen said...

When I was going into the hospital to have labor induced my sister loaded up my ipod from her computer so I could block out the babies crying (I didn't end up using it, I wish I had). She warned me that there were probably a couple of songs that I shouldn't listen to and those are the ones I have been listening to the past couple of days. Yes, they make me cry, but they are so exactly what I feel right now that they are healing in a way.

Death Came and got me - Rosie Thomas

This woman's work - Kate Bush

Ginger Doll said...

Unintended by Muse ~ for personal reasons I find it difficult to listen to this song anymore, but it is the most beautiful song about loss (of a relationship).

And All About Eve's Drowning is also lovely.

I thonk both are available to listen to free at

Take care, GD

Ginger Doll said...

Oh! Also meant to mention Espers and Priscilla Ahn (I love Find My way Back Home, its quite a happy song thou), if you like female singers.

Both also on

B said...

Thanks Jen, I'll look those up (someone else had mentioned that Kate Bush song too).

Thanks GD. I'll look most of those up and dig out the Muse album for the other one :)