Wednesday, 20 January 2010


i was 17 weeks pregnant when we found out what had happened. 8 weeks ago today.

(is that all?)

(is it that long?)

but. babies aren't conceived until two weeks after the official start of the pregnancy. and. it had died four weeks before we found out.

so my child only existed for 11 weeks.

and because even the best pregnancy test in the world will only tell you you're pregnant two weeks after conception, we only knew about it for nine of those weeks.

such a small space of time, to create such devastation. to break me like this.


biojen said...

I don't think it matters how long. A day, weeks, months. The minute you know you are pregnant you hope and dream - even if you know better. You made a life and you are a mother from that very moment. And then it is gone. It is just so devastating and numbers don't help much at all.

Thinking of you.

Kate.Kingsley said...

Hi, it's too late for me to think of anything meaningful or helpful to say, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you xx

B said...

jen, i wish i didn't know better :(
thank you. i'm thinking of you too.

kate - i'm thinking of you too. thanks for the text. will reply soon.