the first thing i did when i left work yesterday was call D, my husband. tell him it was weird and difficult, but that it had gone ok. that i'd see him when he got home.
when he got home, he came over and gave me a kiss, like he always does, but he didn't really do anything else. nothing to acknowledge it had been a difficult day for me.
i was a bit hurt. kinda.
but then he suggested we go out for tea. which we very rarely do. and we did. we went and got fish and chips by the coast.
celebrated that first step.
and i know he's proud of me. he may not come over and fuss me and be all cheerlead-y. but he shows it in different ways.
all i'm taking is tiny steps. but i'm doing it. and he knows it's hard, and he's proud.
today, work was harder. i went to see some of my managers. it meant walking around the building. stepping way, way out of my comfort zone. (and who knew that just walking around my fairly small building could one day be out of my comfort zone?)
but i did it.
half a day, then i don't have to go back til monday.
i can do this.