Wednesday, 3 February 2010

i laughed and i cried and i struggled to keep talking.

but we've come up with a plan that will hopefully get me through, next time.

and she knows how i'm feeling and how terrified i am and that i don't expect the next one to stick either, and how differently D and i will have to deal with this.

and i'm sure at one point that she had a tear in her eye.


she asked if i really thought i was already strong enough to risk going through all this again.

i explained that i didn't have any choice.

and i think she understood.


i haven't told any medical professionals yet that i'm convinced we'll never manage to get pregnant a second time. that i'm convinced the first time was just a fluke. that we've already had our one in a billion shot at getting spe.rm and egg to meet.

i just hope that i'm wrong.


all through your teenage years you're conditioned to think that getting pregnant is the worst possible thing that can happen.

why does no one ever tell you about this possibility?


christie said...

I find that laughable too. Not only do they tell teens that getting pregnant is the WORST thing but also that it's so incredibly EASY to get pregnant. Ha!


B said...

if only....

thanks for dropping in christie x