Wednesday, 3 February 2010

i laughed and i cried and i struggled to keep talking.

but we've come up with a plan that will hopefully get me through, next time.

and she knows how i'm feeling and how terrified i am and that i don't expect the next one to stick either, and how differently D and i will have to deal with this.

and i'm sure at one point that she had a tear in her eye.

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she asked if i really thought i was already strong enough to risk going through all this again.

i explained that i didn't have any choice.

and i think she understood.

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i haven't told any medical professionals yet that i'm convinced we'll never manage to get pregnant a second time. that i'm convinced the first time was just a fluke. that we've already had our one in a billion shot at getting spe.rm and egg to meet.

i just hope that i'm wrong.

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all through your teenage years you're conditioned to think that getting pregnant is the worst possible thing that can happen.

why does no one ever tell you about this possibility?

2 comments:

christie said...

I find that laughable too. Not only do they tell teens that getting pregnant is the WORST thing but also that it's so incredibly EASY to get pregnant. Ha!

Christie

B said...

if only....

thanks for dropping in christie x