Tuesday, 9 February 2010

lying in bed last night, i remembered. again. the look on the woman's face as she told me there was no heartbeat.

i wonder, sometimes, if i'll ever remember without a profound sense of shock.

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eating breakfast as i type. it wasn't as hard to get out of bed as i'd expected. not as scary.

not happy to return to work, not sad. just finding it hard to believe that the last three months or so haven't been a horrendous nightmare.

thank you all for your support and kindness. it is helping, knowing that you are all thinking of me.

3 comments:

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I went through exactly the same. Take care of yourself.

CJ xx

Eve said...

Hi B, visiting you from Glow. I just read more of your blog and am so very, very sorry for all the hurt you continue to suffer for your dear lost baby. I hope that going to work is not nearly as hard as you fear it might be.

My sister just moved from the countryside between Harrogate and Menwith Hill back to the states. It is truly an enchanted land where you dwell. A piece of my heart stayed there, in awe of its beauty.

B said...

thanks cj. it helps to know other people have survived.

hi eve. thank you for stopping by. it was hard, but not as bad as feared, to return.

thinking of you. i hope you are doing ok xx