and i got a negative this morning
and i'm convinced that i'll never actually have a baby
and it's less than six weeks to when my baby would have been due
and i go back to work tomorrow after just over a week off
and there is so much shit i haven't done
and the clocks went forward last night
and i'm just exhausted and sad and sick of being like this.
(edited to add that after posting this i dragged D out for a walk round the block as it's sunny today and i needed to get out. i feel a little better for it, but i'm still very, very sad today. and it's kind of taken me by surprise.)