it's my birthday tomorrow.
i feel hollow, and sad, and empty, and stuck, and wrong.
i wish i knew how this was going to end.
i wish i knew that one day we'd have a child to call our own.
i wish i knew that one day we would live somewhere else. a house, not a flat. somewhere with enough space. somewhere with a garden we could sit out in on sunny days.
with a child - hell, this is fantasy, even two or three - to run around after.
i wish i could be happy with what i have.
an amazing husband. a job i quite like that's pretty secure (and that's saying a lot, these days). a supportive family. a city that's home.
but it's just not enough.