Saturday, 1 May 2010

another two articles i thought were good.
this is another item about depression and women.
this is about IVF and dads and how they cope. be warned, though; although it is a very good read and very honest (be warned about that too, actually), they are those lucky sods that you hate that now have four children. i'd still recommend it though.
i hope my husband doesn't think any of those things - i don't think he does - but i could understand if some of his darkest thoughts are at the beginning of those pathways.

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i went to starbucks before with my laptop.

i looked at stories that i've written as though they were written by a stranger.

i don't know what the point of any of them are.

i feel as though all my dreams are slipping further and further away from me, and that my attempts to grab them just send them spinning further out of my reach.

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i don't know who i am any more.

i wish i could be normal again.

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instead i sit looking at memorial jewellery and wondering why nothing seems right.

3 comments:

lis said...

its because nothing is right, as we planned it to be anyhow...this is not the life we dreamed of as little girls, not the life we were promised..

im so sorry this is hard, please know that i share your pain, i hope that helps

xoxo

Catherine W said...

Oh B. My whole life prior to this last couple of years appears to have been lived by a strange. I'd wish for normal if I could remember what normal even was.

It doesn't seem right. It might not ever seem right. But I think you will find a little equilibrium here and there, that it won't hurt so terribly forever. I hope. xo

B said...

thank you lis, honey.
thank you too catherine.